Reflecting on our internal “Connection Calls”…
by Rosa Zubizarreta
with Andy Paice, Tom Atlee, Natalia Rogovin, and John (“Slow”) Abbe
Several months ago, our small “core team” at the Co-Intelligence Institute (Tom, Andy, Natalia, Slow, and myself) realized we were feeling overwhelmed with “work” meetings and wanted to connect more with each other – especially since we are a largely volunteer team.
Before then, we’d been meeting at least once a week to pull together the monthly public calls, create the monthly newsletter, keep the website updated, manage some behind-the-scenes logistics. In addition, we’d just done a big “push” see if we could figure out fundraising. While we were feeling somewhat burned out, we chose to do something counter-intuitive: at Slow’s instigation, we added a second weekly call, for “connection”.
Truth is, Slow didn’t have to work too hard to persuade us… we like each other, and enjoy having meaningful conversations with one another. Having more connection, time to just hang out with no specific agenda, sounded good.
At first, these “connection calls” started out loosely as a “hang-out” space, which gave us the energy to keep going with the other work. Yet over time, a longing arose to explore how we might be a bit more, well… “co-intelligent” about our connection!
And so the most recent time we met, after an initial round of check-ins and a second go-round for deepening, Rosa offered the following question: what would the essence of a connection call be for each of us, if it were optimally nourishing and meaningful?
And with that question we began a third round, going around in a circle… allowing time for optional “reflections back” after each speaker.
Below are the themes that emerged:
Valuing Divergent Perspectives. As in most groups, we don’t all think the same, which can sometimes be a source of friction. So it’s key to find ways to appreciate our divergent perspectives, to allow for unique views without “paving them over” or harmonizing them into “groupthink.”
Deepening connections with one another. As we get to know more about what life looks like for one another, we are developing greater intimacy. This mutual understanding is the groundwork for relational intelligence, and allows us to support one another better.
Deepening our relationship with ourselves. At the same time, being listened to offers each person the opportunity to make their own discoveries about what is going on for themselves. So there is a balance between mutual support and self-exploration.
Deep relaxation. Being able to relax, enjoying the sense of safety that comes from feeling deeply heard. This supports collaboration, and a sense of belonging
Learning about group dynamics in action. We value the opportunity to gain new insights about our own group dynamics, and appreciate who we are collectively as a unique team.
Co-intelligence as a living practice. We discover new insights into what co-intelligence means, and how it manifests in practice. Our collective understanding of co-intelligence grows and evolves over time.
Building our capacity for working with others. By exploring co-intelligence in our relationships with one another, this develops our ability to share this work with others. Our own interactions are the practice ground for what we want to share externally.
And then we realized there was one more possibility::
Sharing the story of what we are doing here. What we are exploring could serve as an inspiration for others to create similar practices in their own contexts. (Hey, maybe y’all are already doing this, but just in case… :-)
Mostly, we’ve just been bumbling our way along. Things get messy at times, and then we do more listening, to find our way through… **
and sometimes, we stumble into something that feels like it could be particularly helpful.
We’ll keep you posted on what happens next!
* Rosa Zubizarreta-Ada created the draft of this article, using her notes from the conversation as an AI synthesis created by Andy. She also added some initial paragraphs for context.
Andy Paice worked with Chat GPT to create an initial AI synthesis from the transcript of the video recording of the conversation. He also reviewed Rosa's subsequent draft.
John Abbe was the main instigator for the "connection calls" we've been having.
Tom Atlee is the teacher, friend, mentor, and long-term colleague whose work brings us together and holds us together. He also reviewed the draft.
Natalia Rogovin has been an enthusiastic supporter of, and participant in, our weekly "connection calls".
** Thankfully, we have a slew of practices that can help with the messy stuff - from circle go-rounds, to simple reflective listening, to Dynamic Facilitation - and we’ve used these off and on as needed over the years. And there are other practices we still want to try, like Social Meditation… Yet this – clarifying our vision of what it is that we want from these new “connection calls” — feels like a good foundation. Just going around the circle, offering each person the opportunity to share their personal vision with regard to the purpose of these calls….
